Letting Go and Moving On

So I wanna talk about something that's really been getting to me over the last few days. Letting go and moving on....I guess I'm just not very good at either of these things. I told you guys about both of the guys in my life. One definitely likes me and wants an us and the other I feel likes me and cares a lot...when I'm away from my ex and it's just me and this other guy I feel like there's maybe a connection. He's a great guy and really sweet. I can't find a real reason not to feel that way about him. But when I'm with my ex so many emotions flood back. I loved this man with my everything....

I think he was the first real guy that I was head over heals in love with and that's a really big deal. Sometimes I feel that if I hold onto him, if I give it time, he'll love me too more obviously, and he'll take care of me and ask me to be his again .Other times I feel maybe this is my chance to let go of my past, tie up my knots and find someone who wont walk away as soon as it gets difficult as hell. I can't ever blame him for leaving me...i get it...it was difficult and hard and loving me through that hell storm we called love was hard as crap.

Another part of me thinks...i cant let go of him unless i leave him fully....drop him out of my life and get on with myself and who I am. Yet another part of me feels he wont be able to love me, this new guy, the way I need him too. Finally the last part of me feels maybe being single is awesome and telling any guy period that I'm not really looking for a relationship and I need a break for myself and to find who I am and what I love truly.

I've said so many times I don't need a man to determine who I am or my life style. Though feeling that attention that love it feels amazing does it not? There are people who have blogs who we look up to, we think of them as though they never have these issues, as though they are to amazing to grand to highly to feel these problems as problems at all. They don't show us their vaulnerable side and maybe that's where I am different.

Some days there are things nawing at my mind and I have to share them with you guys, you're my family, my roses.

I guess I wanna thank you guys for always being here and coming back to me and telling me your thoughts etc. Love you guys and hopfully I can figure this problem of mine out. Have a great night, I might post more but idk tonight. ~Love,Rose